To ensure your pen pictures are consistently impactful, avoid the trap of writing vague fluff. Use the (Evidence, Attribute, Recommendation) to guide your sentences. What It Means Poor Example Better Example Evidence Anchor the profile in a real, quantifiable achievement. "He is good at managing budgets."
Writing a Better Pen Picture: Samples and Frameworks for Officer Evaluations sample pen picture of officers better
| | Use this instead | | :--- | :--- | | Good judgment | "Consistently identifies second-order effects" / "Assesses risk vs. reward accurately" | | Team player | "Shares credit; absorbs blame" / "Integrates cross-functional silos" | | Physically fit | "Scored 290+ on APFT for three consecutive cycles" | | Good communicator | "Articulates complex ROE to native-language partners" / "Distills intel into 3-minute briefs" | | Needs improvement | "Developing skill in X; currently achieves Y, requires Z to master" | To ensure your pen pictures are consistently impactful,