A second defining feature of radical lesbian community has been — the refusal to perform middle-class heteropatriarchal standards of success in order to be deemed acceptable. Respectability says: dress femme enough, be monogamous enough, be quiet enough, and perhaps the mainstream will accept you. Anti-respectability says: the point is not to be accepted on others' terms. The point is to create terms of our own.

Extreme privacy can sometimes lead to insularity. Without a influx of diverse viewpoints, private groups can occasionally struggle with internal conflicts or rigid gatekeeping regarding who is considered "lesbian enough."